Admit it: You didn’t see that one coming either.
On tonight’s Stranded With A Million Dollars season finale, Team Makody did what everyone with a TV set and a working brain knew they would: The dynamic duo made it to the finish line in Fiji and claimed their share of the grand prize. But in a moment that apparently means pigs can fly and hell just froze over, Alex and Gina also proved victorious.
The reason we’re a tiny bit surprised (okay, fine, we fell off the friggin’ couch): The TV reporter and his cocktail-serving pal had a season filled with infrequent highs and lots of lows. At their highest, the two had formed a majority with Eilish and Alonzo and enjoyed absolute power in Fiji, spending tens of thousands of dollars on pizzas, hamburgers and even a deck of cards and enjoying shelter in a tent that they refused to share with Cody, Makani and the long-gone Chris.
But their fall from glory was steep: Makani started fighting back (#TentWars) and, after Eilish and Alonzo threw in the towel, Alex and Gina could no longer lord over group buy decisions (and order all that food). Before long, both were itching to flare out, losing literally every competition that came their way and feeling the wrath of Makody, who went into full revenge mode. Just how ugly did it get? In an attempt to make Gina and Alex collapse from either thirst or E. coli, Cody sh-t in their water. Twice.
And on tonight’s finale, the dark horses certainly seemed weak AF as they approached their very last trek — one that led to an awaiting helicopter that would take them home to civilization.
“I am super worried about this final journey because I’m feeling sooo dehydrated,” Gina said. “I don’t know if I can make it.”
About that journey: 2.1 kilometers long and to be done in two hours, it featured a “jungle ascent” with a 150-meter elevation gain and 48% incline. The worst part, though, was when each camper had to repell down a giant waterfall, suspended only by ropes. First up, Cody dropped down with ease, shouting “Thrive mode, son!” in the process. Next, Makani showed actual signs of trepidation (girlfriend is human after all) as she inched down gingerly. Gina, meanwhile, had the slowest descent of all, literally screaming at the top of her lungs, dangling like a spider and finally dropping into the water with cries of, “I can’t swim!”
Cody’s final LOL statement of the season: “Gina, you have a life jacket on — you’re not drowning.”
As for Alex? The lanky Nashville native swiftly made it down the waterfall, enabling the group to complete their task on time and — at last — claim the prize money. Their final booty: $497,670; with the sum divided by four, each camper took home a whopping $124,418.
And yeah, they each would have received $16,395 more if Alex and Gina hadn’t destroyed all that cash, but we’ll digress and simply ask: Were you shocked by who made it to Day 40? And which campers were you rooting for all season? Tell us what you thought of Stranded, then have a moment of silence for Bria, Ashley, Michael, Chris, Alonzo and Eilish. Oh, and guys? Always remember: When life gets challenging and your world feels like a jungle, don’t be a goober — just #EmbraceTheSuck.